Wanderlust… to soar in a grand way…

my dearest,

i do not know how it began

this feeling that i am drowning in my own sense of helplessness,

for loving a heart that will not be shaken from its own nonchalance — your heart

i wake up each morning and my thoughts are yours

i speak… i smile… i laugh… right here but i am where you may be

i go about my affairs and yet, deep in the recesses of my being, you lurk, like some memory that haunts

yours is the face that dances before my eyes even when i am looking at something else

i hear your voice in the whisper of the wind

i feel your touch even when i graze my own skin

even when i keep still, i know i feel you… until i no longer feel myself — just you, my dearest

and yet you never did anything, not a word nor an act to make me hope that one day your heart will shake from its roots, fall into my outstretched arms and linger there for eternity

you simply stood there with your eyes blank,

not seeing me your skin as cold as winter

i cried tears of defeat, of frustration, of anger — cursing my fate!

my tears streaming down my sorry face, falling into your hands

yet you stood there motionless

not feeling my warmth, my pain

i have loved you for so long

i have forgotten how not to love you

my dearest,

if you cannot feel me please, lift a hand and push me away…. judy 08/12/02

I came to Boracay wanting to forget, to leave behind the memory of a lost love that perhaps was never mine to begin with; instead I found resolve.

Perhaps it was the pristine blue waters or fine luxurious ivory sand, or the way the sun would set, cloaking the island with moonbeam-like rays. Whatever it was, Boracay made me remember that second best would not do.

And so, just within 48 hours on the island, my head had cleared, my heart stopped skipping and my groove was back. For the next five days I vowed to enjoy everything in Boracay that may be free for the taking- and more.

My friends and I stayed in a villa just about 10 minutes off the main beach. It boasts of an outdoor pool facing cabanas that offer a shade during the day time swim and delight the eyes with their mood lights at night. There is a winding path from the villa to the main road. Getting there though can be quite tricky as the main mode of transportation is the quintessential motor bike with a side car that can accommodate three beautiful ladies in their beach outfit.

None of the locals would raise an eyebrow at women scantily clothe or at tourists walking around the flea market or eating in turo-turo restaurants wearing bikini tops and skimpy wet shorts. When in Rome…

So there we were, three 20th century Maria Claras, living and breathing the Boracay fantasy…

Lunch is an adventure in itself. The flea market is your best choice for an affordable yet scrumptious meal of “all-you-can-eat” sea food. Scour for the nook that would best suit your adventurous palate but don’t forget to leave enough room for the delectable fruit shake over at the beach front, which is just a few minutes away worth of walking.

We plied the different bars/resto that lined the entire stretch from stations one, two and three, but we decided that Willy’s was the place to be for your mid morning till late noon swim. Just don’t forget to order their great pizza with ice cold beer once you’ve worked up an appetite from the laps.

At night, the Boracay beach front is no less busy or crowded, except that the action goes farther back up the shoreline, where you can find the amalgam of taverns and barns that play loud music and serve alcoholic drinks from a list that is as endless as your imagination can go. Cocomangas will surely get you grooving and shaking. Try the “15 and still standing” drink and see if that settles in your stomach or in your head. I tell you, it’s not for the faint of heart. For all of my madness, I did not have the courage to try this one. I definitely know how crazy I can get without any boost from alcohol so just imagine what this “15-drink” will do to my psyche! No, I don’t want to find out…

When you are in an island as glorious as Boracay, enjoying the daily swim in the cool waters of the ocean, watching the beauty of such luscious scenery unfold before your eyes, you realize that there is more to life than waiting for an immature, inconsiderate man/boy to make up his mind and decide what your place is in his life. To wallow in such concerns seems grossly archaic.  Alas, there is soooo much more to life, so many places to see and explore…  A week of Boracay sun does wonders to a dejected spirit.

I look forward to the next trip… the good trip.

(post script: i have been to several trips after this and they were all good… in fact, they were great!