The psychology of waiting
Friday, January 13th, 2006Does a long distance relationship work? Is there such a thing at all? Hmm…
With the realities of life as they are, one is often put in a place where compromise becomes the better side of daring or good faith for that matter.
You begin getting to know each other and everyday is not enough for that purpose. There are even days you don’t want the nights to end. Oh love makes you foolish, whether you’re 18 or 30. So really, it’s a test of your patience and ultimately of your character if you have to go without your “love-object” for days, weeks and months on end. For someone as touchy-feely as I am, that can feel like a lifetime, an eternity even.
So is it worth it? Is it worth waiting for emails and overseas calls amidst the agonizing thought that perhaps, at the end of the road, you could be both waiting in vain?
Psychologists have a term for it- delaying gratification. A child has to learn it early on in life otherwise he becomes a slave to his baser instincts and would probably grow up maladjusted. I think we are all maladjusted in some form… one way or the other. It is how we cope (and deal) with the trivialities of daily disappointments of unmet expectations and unfulfilled promises- like a phone call that was a day or two late, or an email that was just too short to satisfy your curiosity- that spell the difference between a regular bad day and getting the “blues”.
Having to wait for something is no easy task. I admit that patience has not been one of my virtues. And these days I am discovering that my life is a lesson on hope, that no matter how daunting the day ahead may look, it is never too hopeless…that what you are waiting for may soon be within the horizon.
Something to do, something to hope for and someone to love- these make for a great life. I can’t recall who said this but I am darn sure she/he knows what she/he was talking about. Isn’t that a delight? That life can be so simple? And if you don’t have someone to love right now, then one can always hope that someday soon you’ll find the love of your life. What an exciting thought!
And so, as for the predicament I find myself in, I am certain that things will sort themselves out. The universe is basically fair and just- it has a way of giving back to you what you dish out, though not necessarily in the way or form that you prefer. But believe me, it’s something that you deserve, wrongfully or rightfully so in your eyes.
From this angle, waiting ain’t that bad girlfriend.
