Archive for December, 2007

Hopeful

Thursday, December 27th, 2007

Hope had always been my friend. I remain truly hopeful regardless of my circumstances. Even at the lowest ebb of my season, I pray to our Lord to give me strength in hope.

And the Lord has not let me down. Amidst the setbacks in both my career and my personal life, the Lord has remained faithful in filling my heart with enough hope to see me through anything.

As I prepare for the coming year and the changes that 2008 ushers in, I remain hopeful that things can only get better. A new challenge awaits me even as I take on the daunting task-rather, opportunity- of working/consulting for an international organization.  To be very honest about it, my heart is gripped with fear, second-guessing if i am cut-out for this seemingly big role, big shoes- however you may call it- that my small feet (figuratively) may not actually fit into.  Still and all, the Lord has presented me with this opportunity and I accept it with an eager and a grateful heart.  I thank God for the talent and skill He has blest me with, and I am hopeful that He will give me the wisdom to put such to good use in my new workplace.

Meantime, I am leaving behind friends who have been kind to and accepting of me, allowing me a place in their hearts.  As cliches would have it, there is no easy way to say goodbye. But as this piece would attest to, I am hopeful that such friends and friendships will survive the test of time and distance.

I remain hopeful that this new path I shall soon trudge shall likewise allow me the good fortune of new beginnings and new friends.

It is sad though that 2007 had also been a year for losing friendships. I take full responsibilty for their loss, as I know I took certain choices that broke the friendship.  I am saddened because I had always hoped too that these friensdhips would have blossomed as the years pass, and I was greatly surprised that they turned sour at the end of the year. Alas, as in all good things, they too found their end. I am not, however, closing my doors on these relationships, as I know that when the opportune time comes- in God’s perfect time- these wonderful friendships would bear fruits again.

Finally, I remain hopeful that 2008 will be full of adventures, exciting new characters, witness the strengthening of relationships (romantic-smile,smile- or otherwise) already forged; and my one greate hope- full of wisdom.

I pray for wisdom for each and everyone of us that we shall all do what is right and what is pleasing to the Lord. A daunting task indeed, but I remain hopeful as ever that the Lord will likewise provide us with the strength to do as He pleases.

"Hopeful" new year everyone!

 

 

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thoughts on turning 34

Sunday, December 16th, 2007
wow.. i can’t believe i’m turning 34 pretty soon..

simon is such a pleasant stop over. i am not certain if he intends to
stay and be a landmark in my life. but right now, i am just so darn happy
to spend my time with this absolutely gorgeous yummy english man (harharhar).. he makes me smile and giddy.. i am floating on air and it’s all natural high. i think it’s pure simon.

my life, it turns out, is quite the exciting ride that i always
thought it would be. i have no regrets. i have shed oodles of tears, no doubt.
but i have laughed my heart out as well. i have embraced life with wild
abandon (wild daw oh?!). and even if i would have chosen a different path, i
think, life just won’t allow me. I’m too alive not to dive into every
adventure that comes my way.. i guess i am naturally wired this way.

at 34, i wished for love. i think i would want simon to be that love.
but if it isn’t, then i guess i would just have to cry about it, over it.. then get up and move along, as i always do.

i would hope for this story to end in happy ever after. right now, i
am just so crazily infatuated with my englishman. and i don’t think he
even knows it! he acts like i’m the best thing that’s ever happened to
him (yes, virginia, there is a santa claus!). perhaps i am. oh darn it- i know i
am! (i’m not bold for nothing harhar!)

but still and all, he is transient, and i do not want to second guess his plans for the future.

it would be so easy to be afraid right now. to be paralyzed by fear
and retreat into my crevice and not let him in any further than i’ve
already allowed him. but despite this gnawing dread, this seeming panic that
tries to grip at my heart, i think i’d prefer to stare down fear in the eye
and challenge it.

so here i am. turning 34 soon, all the while thinking the year would
end uneventfully. i was absolutely mistaken. whichever way this year
ends, it would definitely be with a blast. let’s just hope i don’t get my
heart broken in the process.. but if i do, i sincerely believe, the heart
expands that way.. and lucky the next man will be for whom my heart will
beat…

happy birthday to my co-celebrators!

nota bene: written pre-34th birthday celeb

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