Wanderlust… to soar in a grand way…

happy mother’s day nanay. did i turn out ok? you were so proud of me then. are you still proud of me now?
i never got over being your little girl, even as you smile at me from the heavens.

you’re listiening to me, right? even now when all i have of you is your memory and your sweet scent.. i can still smell you, the essence of you.. i miss you so much nay.. when i stop and keep still, i cannot believe you are really gone.. we used to have such fun just talking to each other, right? you listened and smiled to all my stories.. and approved of all my plans..

i miss thinking my thoughts out loud with you. i miss being taken care of by you. i miss how we argue and i’d be mad at you, but you’d prepare my favorite meal and then everything will be alright between us again..i miss.. i simply miss..

in my mind, you are still as beautiful, as loving, as gentle, as understanding as ever. even our fights are memories i treasure.

but i am sorry that i spent so much time away from home. i know you understood though. i know you wanted me to set out on my own and be independent. thank you for raising me with enough love, enough caring and enough “tough love” to prepare me for your passing.. thank you for giving me the best of who you are. for making my life so much easier than your life had been,, for being my strength when i didn’t always get what i wanted- that made me grounded.

thank you for the self-sacrifice so that I can soar.. for being who you were that made me who i am now.

thank you for being the best mum ever! I love you nay.. you can hear me, right?

It was everything and nothing. Our bodies made promises our souls hope to keep. We are who we are and we are helpless in the midst of this bliss.. hoping against hope our passion could suspend reality.

You are who you are. And you loved me. Every sinewy limb.. Every bit of feeling that is in you. You shed tears for me last night. You hoped for your dream.. fantasy to withstand eternity.

But I breathe and I am real. Reality beckons and we have to come dowm from the heavens we visit each night.

I want to drink in all of you. Keep you in my memory.. until you nestle in the deepest crevice of my being, never letting go. I want you. Need every breath, every sigh that brushes against my lips..my thighs.. my skin..

Why such tragedy in the midst of this paradise? Like the havens with the thunderstorm behind the clouds spoiling our romantic rendezvous.

Why must reality invade this solitude? Unearthe the secrets of souls entwined, reaching for eternity.

Run along reality! You are not welcome here.. your noise is jarring. Like cold sleet on my warm toes.. don’t wake us up.. i beg you.. don’t..

Why must you wake us up from this beautiful tableau?